NEW INTERVIEW: How Kelly Douglas Takes The Adversity In Her Life And Creates a Win For Herself

- Please take a few moments to introduce yourself to The Abler community. Who you are/what you do/and conditions you have (If you feel comfortable.)

Hi!  My name is Kelly Douglas, and I’m a respite care worker for clients with disabilities.  I also write freelance on the side, which is a dream come true.  I happen to be living with mild cerebral palsy, anxiety, and depression.

- What was it like for you growing up with a disability as complex as cerebral palsy?

Growing up with cerebral palsy was pretty much as complicated as it sounds, which is to say it was a fairly significant challenge.  The most difficult part of my mild hemiplegia CP was transitioning from being visibly physically disabled to no longer looking stereotypically disabled.  (Disability does not have a look; I had CP the whole time!)  In elementary school, I wore a leg brace, so it was fairly obvious that I had some kind of disability, but by the time I reached junior high and no longer needed the brace, the comments, pointing, and staring just… stopped without warning, leading me to question how others perceived me.  From 7^th grade until last year, at age 21, I struggled with my identity as an able-bodied-appearing person with a disability, which contributed to my anxiety and depression, but as soon as I began to open up about my cerebral palsy last year, life became much simpler and far more fulfilling.

- Like myself, you also write on several topics on various platforms. Do you have a favorite topic you like to write about the most? What's your least favorite topic to write about? And why?

I never thought I’d say this, but I love writing about life with cerebral palsy.  At first, it was painful, but it’s the most freeing decision I’ve ever made, and I now know people with cerebral palsy who can relate on some level, which makes the topic far more comfortable.  With that said, I’m all about balance, and I try not to write exclusively about cerebral palsy for any given platform because I do have a life outside of the condition.  As a matter of fact, I’m currently working on a “Legally Blonde” related piece I’m super excited about because, in addition to being a woman with a disability, I also identify as a “Brunette Elle Woods.” J

My least favorite topic?  Probably relationships.  I never want anyone to worry that I may be writing about them!

- Do you find it harder to break the glass ceiling due to the fact that you're a woman who happens to have a disability?

While the glass ceiling is an especially pertinent concern for women with disabilities, no, not necessarily.  I spent a year unemployed/underemployed post-college, and I wondered if employers were noticing my cerebral palsy in interviews and choosing not to hire me as a result, but looking back, I don’t think that was the case. 

As an aspiring attorney, I’ve definitely questioned how others might perceive me in the courtroom, but when I’m ready for law school, I’ll be forging ahead and shattering the glass ceiling.  As a White, middle-class, heterosexual, able-bodied-appearing woman, I’m privileged in so many ways that many other women with disabilities may not be, which makes the glass ceiling less of a constraint in my life.  I’m looking forward to the day when we can all collectively shatter the glass ceiling by using our privileged identities to help “level the playing field” for others.

- Do you find it hard to be taken seriously professionally as a woman, or do you find it harder to be taken seriously in professional settings because of your disability, or is a little bit of both?

That’s an excellent question.  Both facets of my identity have influenced aspects of my treatment in the workplace, but the first instance that comes to mind involved straight-up workplace sexism.  However, I definitely have been in positions that required slightly more dexterity and coordination than I possess, which caused co-workers to shoot me curious looks.  Honestly, feeling other employees’ eyes burn into me as I tried to combat my cerebral palsy symptoms at work was more detrimental to my self-esteem than experiencing sexism.  Despite those experiences, I’ve ultimately experienced relatively little unequal treatment in the workplace, and for that, I consider myself truly fortunate.

- What are three words that come to mind that best describes who you are?

Passionate, empathetic, and perfectionistic (my writer/editor friends can probably vouch for that last one!)

- What are three of the biggest lessons you have learned about how the world perceives someone who is "different" than they are?

First off, our society carries a pervasive, collective mindset that “different” equals “less.”  From a young age, I certainly perceived my own differences as a person with a disability, but I also learned early on that others would see my disability before my capabilities.  My perfectionism likely stems from trying to compensate for my physical differences by outshining my able-bodied peers in other areas in order to garner any kind of recognition that I was their equal.

Additionally, there seems to be a sense of unapproachability inherent in “difference.”  We are far less likely to approach people who are “different” in any sense of the word, whether it’s related to disability, personality, or style.  This can leave people whom society considers to be “different” battling feelings of alienation.  As someone who’s felt the lasting effects of this attitude, I believe that approaching the “unapproachable,” asking polite questions, and actively learning about differences can help those who are marginalized in society feel comfortable with their respective identities and accepted for who they are.

Our conformist society often sees “difference” as something to change in order for those on the fringes to remediate their problems and succeed in their pursuits.  However, instead of forcing people with differences to change themselves, we should examine ourselves.  Have we been kind, caring, and empathetic to those from all walks of life, or have we been prone to falling into the trap of forcing others to change for the sake of our preferences, rather than changing our hearts to kindle a spirit of acceptance for all?

- What are the three biggest lessons you've learned about yourself a writer?

1.      I have an affinity for either writing like a 75-year-old who possesses a Ph.D. or like a 14-year-old totally not chill Valley Girl (OMG!), and there is no in-between.

2.      It’s far easier for me to be vulnerable in writing than in-person.  Writing has allowed me to discover that I have a bit of an in-person vulnerability problem – I’m far more likely to put up walls when I’m speaking than when I’m writing.  People often ask me why it’s so difficult to speak about my cerebral palsy aloud, considering that I write about it on the Internet, and the truth is that the impersonality of online writing is a catalyst for my self-expression.  When I’m speaking about a vulnerable subject, and I’m confronted with others’ expressions and reactions up-close and in-person, the reality of the situation strikes me, and I shut down.

3.      Writing has allowed me to discover that it’s perfectly acceptable for me to own my circumstances and channel them towards the greater good.  I now have the blessing of knowing that I have the talent, the opportunity, and the background to make a difference in others’ lives by encouraging them to love and embrace their health conditions wholeheartedly.  A few years ago, another young woman with CP told me that I would come to embrace my disability, and now, thanks to writing, I’ve arrived at that place and am determined to use my struggles to empower others in similar situations.

- What is your advice for women who may be struggling with being seen as an equal in society?

Learn to recognize your own worth.  Speak kindly to yourself every time you look in the mirror, and never refer to your body or mind as “bad” or “wrong.”  As long as you remember that you are extraordinarily strong, irreplaceably beautiful, and undeniably capable, your confidence will shine through, and you will establish yourself as the equal that you are.

If you'd like to connect with Kelly you can do so, via Instagram and Twitter. 

Instagram:  @kellychristine333

Twitter:  @kellywrites333

Photos are the property of Ms. Kelly Douglas.